Teddy, Teddy, Teddy............
I was all prepared to write about something that I thought everyone would fine extremely funny and amusing, but just as I was finishing the first paragraph my cellphone rang, and there he was on the other end........Teddy. I know that that name means nothing to you all, but it means everything to me. Teddy single-handedly changed my whole life. We talked for roughly an hour and got caught up on what's been going on since the last time we spoke. As I hung up the phone, I couldn't help but remember how this one guy changed my whole life. My mind became flooded with all the memories from so many years ago. If you haven't figured it out Teddy was my first...first love that is, and everytime we talk I always remember that faithful day in 1994. Let's take a trip down memory lane:
Now let's remember that this is Labot Day 1994 and I was 15 years old and just starting my 10th grade year in high school. As far as I knew I was happily in love with my girlfriend Deborah. The only thing that one could remotely consider being gay was the fact that I'd sometimes see a guy and think that he was good-looking guy, but no sexual connotations at all, at least I thought. But anyway, there was DEFINITELY something in the air that day, cause I did somethings that had you caught me the day before or the day after, I would NEVER do.
Here in Miami, on Holidays like Memorial Day, Labor Day, 4th of July, and other holidays during the summer most black families would spend the day at Haulover Beach (those of you who went to Sizzle are quite familiar with this beach). The beach is swarming with black folks and to get a spot you have to basically get there at the ass crack of dawn. Well on this faithful Labor Day, my family as usual went to Haulover Beach for the holiday, and we got there at about 8AM. It got to be about 5PM and most of the family proceeded to leave and go home. I was riding with my older cousin and we were the last to leave the beach area. We walked through the underpass, that goes underneath the street, and into the men's wash room, where the parking lot was. We showered (in our swim trunks of course) and started to get dressed so that we could go home. My cousin fininshed first and told me to meet him out at the car. The next moment I can remember as vividly as I can remember my name. I was sitting on the bench in the wash room with my right foot up on the bench tying my shoe when this guy came in, looked around, locked eyes with me for about 5 seconds, then quickly exited the washroom. I don't know or understand what happened at that moment, but something did. Something flipped the mental switch in my consciousness that opened my eyes to feelings that had been locked inside my head all my life. That seemingly, meaningless 5 second stare is responsible for who I am today, or at least part of who I am.
The guy looked familiar, like someone I knew, or at least someone I wanted to know. I quickly finished tying my shoe and sprinted out of that washroom. I tried not to seem like I was anxious, or like we say down here,"pressed", so I stopped my sprint just before I cleared the door. I slowly walked out and looked around for the guy, but didn't see him. Then I turned and looked toward the women's washroom and there he was, standing next to the door of the women's washroom. I just assumed that he was waiting for his girlfriend to come out. I was standing on the sidewalk adjacent to the parking lot, and was about 10 feet in front of the door to the men's washroom. The women's washroom was about 500 feet across from the men's. Now I had some friends that were still on the beach and they had driven there own cars to the beach, so when my cousin pulled up to me in the car I did something really weird. I told him that I wasn't ready to leave, simply because I wanted to stay and look at this guy for some reason. He knew that I still had friends on the beach too, so he told me that he was going over his girlfriend's house (which happened to be really close to the beach), and for me to page him on his beeper when I was ready. He then told me that if I didn't page him by 7PM he would assume that I went home with my friends, then he drove off.
So there I was standing there on the sidewalk, like a child without a home. I was nervous and scared, but I dare not leave from where I was. I slowly turn my head to look at this guy and noticed that he was staring long and hard at me. Now in Miami, when someone stares at you like that in my neighborhood, that usually means that he wants trouble, he wants to make you the next victim of some random act of violence. This guy fit the bill too. He had that thug look, a white Tommy Hilfiger shirt, some black shorts, some black and white high-top Reebok Preseasons (anyone remember THOSE shoes??), a high-top fade, and 4 to the top (that's a Miami term that means 4 gold teeth at the top of his mouth). So now I was upset with myself for staying, thinking that this guy wanted to do me harm. I kept periodically looking back at him, and each time it was the same thing, he was intensely staring at me. After about 6 times I was so nervous I think I crapped in my shorts. I dared to make a move cause I knew that that was the thing that most guys who mugged people said that they waited for. I didn't know what to do. So then I look over there again and the guy was gone, and I think to myself, "SHIT, where did he go??????" If I was so scared, why was I all of a sudden so upset now that he was gone. I didn't know what was going through my mind, I was 15, dumb, and ignorant to all the feelings going on inside of me. I then just assumed that he had left. Thinking that I would just go meet my friends on the beach I turned toward the men's washroom to go the other way to the beach and BAM!!!! There he was within breathing distance of me, standing next to the door of the men's washroom now. At this poin, there was probably a pubble of urine on the ground beneath me, cause I could have sworn that I pissed my clothes. I thought for sure that he would cause me some bodily harm, so I braced myself for the impending assault. As I waited, he asked me the question that still makes me laugh to this date, it was the first pickup line I ever got and didn't even know it. He just out of the blue as me, "What time it is?" I had on a short-sleeved shirt, some shorts and some sandals. There was not a watch anywhere on my body. So I just said, "I don't know." He then asked me who I was waiting for and why I was at the beach by myself. I told him that my cousin was coming back whenever I paged him and all about how my family had been at the beach all day. Then I thought to myself, "Why am I talking to this complete stranger?" He then asked me, "So whatchu get into?" I said, "I get into whatever." I didn't know what he was referring to and had no way of knowing that he was asking about sex. I guess he could sense that, so he told me that he knew I ain' know what he meant but that I should just trust him, so I did. Why? I have no idea to this day. We then began to walk all over the beach and talked about everything imaginable. In our walking and talking he offered to give me a ride home and I accepted. Why? I have no idea to this day. Before I knew it, the sky was darkening and it was getting late. He then gave me his Name address and phone number on a piece of paper and told me that before he took me home that he would take me by his place and show me where he lived. Then, he took me into these large trees that looked like bushes, where we could be hidden from passers-by. I then thought that this would be the point where he robbed me or something, but for some reason I wasn't afraid.
So we went into the bushes and I leaned against a tree and he was standing about 5 feet away from me. He said, "I like you man.", to which I replied, "I like you too, you seem cool too". I didn't know that he meant that he "LIKED" me. So we exchanged I like you's another 3 times, but on the 4th time something clicked in my head and I knew what he meant then. My eyes I'm sre got real big and I probably looked mortified. He then calmed me down by reassuring me that he didn't want to do anything to hurt me or rush me into anything. He told me that he knew that I probably was fully sure of everything that was going on, but that it was not his intent at all to scare me or hurt me in any way. He then told me that even if I didn't want to admit it I had to have some feelings for him, or else I wouldn't have followed him around for all those hours. All I could think about was how wrong all of it seemed and how I just wanted to go home and get out of there. Then he did something that still surprises to to this day. He told me that he was going to try something. He can up to me and gave me a hug for about 2 minutes, although it seemed like an eternity. I felt what I later learned to be more that 12" of male phallus making a B-line toward my knees, but the hug evoked some many feelings in me that I didn't know what was up or down, right or wrong. Then he let me go and told me that if liked what I felt, and that he said he wasn't talking about his dick, that I should use the number he gave me and call him. Then we silently walked to the car and I was speechless until we got to my house. He did take me by his house and took some mail out of the mail box to show me that that was his real name and his real house. Then he drove me home. When we got to my house he asked if he could give me another hug and I said, "HELL NAW!!" and got out of the car. I stayed up all night thinking about what happened.
To make a long story short (too late for that) I thought about it for 2 weeks before I ever called him back. And the rest is history. We ended up dating until I graduated from high school. But that another stary altogether and I'm pretty sure you're already tired of this story.
Well. that's who Teddy is and how he changed my life. I could write 20 different posts on that relationship, but why should I bore all of you with that. Sorry for that my first gay experience isn't as exciting as some, but it's mine and that's all.
GOOD MORNING.
posted by E. Lewis @ 5:17 PM
Comments: 13
